Guess Who’s Back

What the fuck?

No, seriously, what the fuck?

Why did nobody tell me that Asperger’s wasn’t real anymore? Not recently, it’s been 6 YEARS. That shit stopped being valid in 2013, and now I’m entirely lost. What am I? Have I been promoted to a regular person or demoted to autist?

First, let’s catch you up to the present. Since I last posted, I got a new job. Spent a few months doing stand up. Quit stand up for Asperger’s related reasons (or no reason at all anymore I guess). Went ahead and quit that new job. found out I’m a fan of the man or just straight up asexual, which pisses me off a little cause fuck man.

It has been 19 YEARS! How do I know so little about myself?

Spent some time in a psych ward. Dated a black chick (you can imagine how that went), so I’m officially not a racist. If that doesn’t convince you, I made a black friend. I ate roughly 200 pieces of Halloween candy in 2 days. Part of my tooth fell out of my mouth. It’s just half a tooth now. The dentist told me to get it checked out 2 years ago. I’m probably going to die when tooth rot spreads to my brain. But that’s okay.

I am taking 6 pills a day and drinking alongside them, something that surprisingly, my psychiatrist doesn’t recommend. A week ago, I had a really bad heart palpitation that scared the shit out of me but the only thing that scares me more than my achey breakey heart is doctors, so I’m keeping that shit to myself. And you.

Despite all of this, I am not dead. Yet.

But before we go in detail about any of that, let’s ask an important question about the present;
How is Sam? And the answer, is…


I’m doing okay. My identity has fallen to pieces around me, but it’s all gravy. I’m a man (I fucking better be, I can only take so many of these lies), and that’s about all I know for sure. It’s a solid start, though. I mean, it’s 2018; Some people aren’t even sure about that.
But fuck them, this is about me and you’re listening to me and other people’s problems are dumb and gay (I can say that now).

To be honest, I don’t know what the point of this blog is, or why I’m coming back to it, or why I’m here at all. But shit man, I am. May as well rock it.

So what can you expect to see in the coming weeks? For a bit, it’ll be backlogs detailing everything listed above, and a little more. Then, in a month and a half I’ll be in Thailand (so I can find myself or some bullshit) and then you’ll hear some stories about that.

But next week we’re going way back. All the way back to a year and a half ago, for the exciting tell all that nobody wants told; Girl on Girl. Get ready for a yikes, my dudes.
Have a nice week, I know I won’t.

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